Thinking of Separating During Covid-19?

Many couples have seen themselves quarantine with their significant other - either spending an unusual 24/7 with the person with whom they co-habit usually or making the sudden decision to make isolation that bit more bearable by moving in together temporarily. But what about those of you who were perhaps on the brink of separation… and now can’t? 

Again, many jests have been made about couples getting on each others’ nerves so much more now there’s no break to their company - via work, the gym or social activities. This is most definitely happening across the world, with arguments fabricating out of nowhere just from spending too much time together. Therefore it is only natural that it is one hundred times worse should you be in lockdown with someone who you were unsure about the future of your relationship - or worse, were pretty set on leaving before the pandemic worsened.

Deciding to end a relationship or a marriage is a difficult decision in itself - made only harder by the current situation. Not only are we being instructed to stay home, but it is also more difficult to move home, with many landlords refusing to take on new tenants during this time and homeowners pausing on their decision to sell.

To add to these restrictions, financial stability is not something everyone is lucky to have right now so to move out on your own and be responsible for your own expenses and living costs (when you were previously used to a joint household) is not something for which everyone can accommodate.

This time in lockdown together will bring about emotional strain, as you probably will go through the motions of wondering whether your decision to split or want to end the relationship is the right one. There will be many opportunities for talking with one another, alone, and also many times when you’ll feel on your own, despite being isolated with this other person. Coaches are available for virtual sessions, should you feel like talking to an external person about your problems - should you be open to potentially resolving them. If there are disagreements about the separation, the opportunity to talk about things is something many do not get to do when we are allowed to roam free. Should it be a fragile subject and you be worried about your partner’s temper or actions, you must seek help and advice from authorities.

Many would postpone moving out or proceeding with divorce settlements etc. until we are further out of the woods of this pandemic - at the very least until the lockdown has been lifted. Both formal and informal separation agreements can be made between the two of you to make sure you’re on the same page about your forced cohabitation during this quarantine. 

If separating or divorcing is a definite decision on both your parts, there is no reason why you can’t get the ball rolling by seeking legal advice and beginning negotiations but these would all happen virtually. Most businesses remain open, particularly those who can operate remotely. Should you need to seek legal advice, this is doable over the phone and therapists are offering virtual sessions. Those set on moving forward with proceedings should expect delays in the process due to the pandemic.