Menopause - we all know it’s coming, and yet when it arrives it is often still a huge surprise. Many women don’t fully understand or appreciate the range of the symptoms and the extent of their effect until it happens. This can make balancing work with the female midlife journey tricky, but don’t panic. We are here to help with some useful tips.

See it, name it

First things first, let’s get the label right. If you’re experiencing symptoms, you’re in perimenopause. Menopause itself is when a woman has not had a period for 12 months. So you won’t even know you’re in the menopause phase until after it has happened – and then you are in the post-menopause phase. 

Perimenopause is the bit that has all the recognisable symptoms; hot flushes, mood swings, night sweats. It usually starts around the age of 45, and lasts for around four years, although some women can enter menopause much earlier or later, and it can last from a few months to a decade.

Calling it by its correct name is empowering. Saying you are menopausal can sound a bit like the punchline of a bad sexist joke. Staking your claim to the scientifically correct ‘perimenopause’ allows you to cut away some of the stigma and take control and educate if you want to. 

Be honest about the effects

The first person you need to be honest with is yourself. 

Are you okay? The symptoms of perimenopause include brain fog, low mood and trouble concentrating. Trying to cover them up can make you anxious and can lead to a loss of confidence. 

Make time for an emotional check in and evaluate what the next best steps are. 

Writing in Stella magazine, business leadership coach Jeneva Patterson describes how she spent years trying to hide her perimenopause symptoms to the extent she felt negligent toward her own self care. Eventually she came clean and got good support from her colleagues, especially men who had watched their wives go through the same experience. She realised it is okay to be open about your needs in a professional environment. 

Share what you are going through with a trusted manager, wellbeing officer or the HR team. Figure out a plan. Flexible working hours and working from home options could be really useful. At work, request a desk fan or ask for a water cooler in the office if you don’t have one. 

Be clear about your needs; it is in your employers’ interests to help.

Time off for treatment

There are many different interventions that can support your through perimenopause and help reduce the effect of symptoms, from traditional HRT to more alternative methods like acupuncture. Negotiate time off, or flexible working, so you can balance your treatment schedule around work and home life. If accessing your treatments is hard, it will increase your stress and be less effective. Your employer should be taking your needs seriously.

Practical matters

Perimenopause comes with a selection of novel symptoms you need to be prepared for, so why not create a survival kit you can fit in your bag or desk drawer to make sure you are prepared. 

Items you might want to add into such a kit include:

Spare underwear, feminine hygiene & care products such as pads, liners, and/or tampons. Remember, your periods haven’t stopped yet, meaning they can be unpredictable. 

Some women can experience another problem that might require some fresh undies - incontinence. Similar to the post-pregnancy ‘sneeze pee’, bladder weakness is normal. Wearing a panty liner can help with this. 

Spritz bottle: Hot flushes can be hard work. A hand fan or a spritz bottle can provide a little bit of light relief. 

Spare top: Another common symptom is getting ‘the sweats’. Stick to darker coloured clothing or wear a light, sweat absorbing base layer under loose clothing. 

Replace PMS with PMA

Positive Mental Attitude, the 90’s buzz-phrase that really does work. There is increasing evidence that shows thinking positively about something makes the situation feel a better. There are many ways to stay positive, here are a few suggestions:

• Mindful moments: Mindfulness is a practice that anchors you in the present moment and is very good for mental health. It only takes a couple of minutes and is good for mind and body

• Journaling: One study by the University of Rochester showed that journaling for a few minutes a day three times a week actually helped physical healing, while in 2017 Scullin et al noted that journaling before bed helps you sleep better. Other studies have shown journaling can help order your thoughts and reduce anxiety.

• Deep breathing: Deep slow breathing, called diaphragmatic breathing, increases your blood oxygen levels, lowers your heart rate and helps release endorphins, or your happy hormones.

Staying positive can help you have a better perimenopause, and give you the confidence to ask for help when you need it. 

Get the help you need

A coach, such as myself, can work with you to find a way to have those discussions if you’re struggling to find the words. You don’t have to suffer in silence.