Janette Brooker

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Navigating Divorce with a Narcissist

When faced with the challenge of divorcing a narcissist, your emotional resilience will be put to the test like never before. 

Understanding Narcissism

Crafting a succinct definition for a narcissist is a complex task. If you have shared your life with such an individual, you're bound to be intimately familiar with some of their traits, much of which is entwined in your relationship.

The traits of a narcissist are prone to abrupt shifts, being unpredictable, explosive, and profoundly irrational. 

Commonly observed narcissistic behaviours encompass:

Arrogance

  • Self-obsession

  • Demanding nature

  • Overbearing disposition

  • Craving for attention

  • Unrealistic expectations

  • Absence of empathy

  • Propensity for judgement

  • Lack of remorse

  • Selfish tendencies

  • Sense of entitlement

  • Resistance to conflict resolution – insistence on their correctness

  • Manipulative tendencies

  • Envy towards others' achievements

  • Desire for control

  • Unwillingness to acknowledge their fallibility

Dealing with the mercurial temperament of a narcissist is an arduous task. As a provider of support services tailored to separation and divorce, I am well-acquainted with these behavioural patterns. I am keenly aware of your position and the emotional landscape you traverse as you approach the pivotal decision to proceed with your divorce.

Recognising Narcissism and Navigating Divorce

It may take some time to come to the realisation that you are married to a narcissist. This reality often dawns once your spouse's behaviours begin to surface.

It may be tempting to brush these behaviours aside and downplay their significance.

However, as time goes on, their impact can gradually become overwhelming, and become an unwelcome influence in your daily life, particularly if there are children involved.

Anticipating the Challenges of Divorcing a Narcissist

Let's address this situation candidly: navigating a divorce with a narcissist can present an enduring struggle.

It's common for such people to adopt a vengeful stance, driven by a desire to penalise you for initiating the separation or filing for divorce. Retribution, in their view, is served by making your life more challenging.

A narcissist spouse may fabricate the truth. You should prepare yourself for them to do just that; to concoct falsehoods, whether directed at their legal representation or law enforcement, to rationalise their conduct, or simply to inflict suffering upon you. 

You might have already encountered such deceit, and like any rational person, you may have grappled with feelings of distress, agitation, and helplessness in the face of such reprehensible behaviour. You may have even questioned your own sanity.

You don't need to go through it alone. 

I can help you. 

Drawing upon experience and expertise from my practice, I can provide you the freedom you crave through bespoke support and guidance needed during this unsettling phase.

Managing Narcissistic Behaviour During Divorce

Sustaining resilience, especially throughout the divorce process, is of paramount importance.

A narcissist does not readily embrace forgiveness, nor do they easily move past grievances. Their reservoir of anger and thirst for revenge tend to intensify when confronted with your refusal to comply with their demands.

Do not despair. 

Harness the strength of your commitment to yourself, and your children, as motivation to transcend rise above their manipulation. Ultimately you will emerge victorious, and free. 

Finances 

A narcissist has an inherent lack of empathy, and self-centred perspective. They remain oblivious to the needs of others. Conflict, like divorce proceedings, serves as their fuel, and concession is seldom in their nature. 

Divorcing a narcissist spouse means that they would likely abstain from providing financial support for any children. 

He will likely persist with his unrealistic demands, despite his limited emotional connection with your children. His priority will invariably be self-centred, ardently pursuing his own needs and wishes, rather than directed towards the well-being of your children.

The basis for this is that they're under the misguided belief that withholding funds denies you sustenance. Despite the funds being intended for the welfare of his children, a narcissist spouse remains oblivious to the fact.

Their grievances remain etched, their stubbornness unwavering, and likewise, so should your determination. You must stay the course. 

In the realm of navigating a divorce with a narcissist, the journey can be demanding, but with resilience and support from your own team of experts, you can navigate the challenges and emerge stronger.

Now is the time to take back your control and start looking forward to your future. Arrange a consultation with me today.