One question I get a lot from clients is ‘how do I decide if I should stay in my marriage, or go?’

There’s no right answer to that question, ultimately, it’s whatever is right for you.

Despite the best of intentions that a partnership will be for life, the simple fact remains that many marriages aren’t forever and often separation can sometimes be the right decision for all parties. 

Why read before deciding to get a divorce? 

The journey will likely entail a painful period of transition so being prepared is wise. 

Taking the time to read and reflect will also provide the opportunity to consider all avenues before you make that fateful choice. Reading will offer some perspective, some advice, and it just might make the decision easier for you. 

It’s worthwhile noting that no single resource can speak definitively to your specific situation, it’s quite likely there’s a book out there that can help you decide what direction to take. 

The following books are just some suggestions that may help provide knowledge and insight for those contemplating divorce.

1. DIY Divorce and Separation: The Expert Guide to Representing Yourself

Written by a team of experienced family law barristers in the UK, this expert guide assists with the legal consequences of the breakdown of a relationship. 

The chapters chronologically follow the issues that will be encountered upon a family break up in the UK, and include essential concepts, a toolbox guide to the applications that can be made, sources for further research, tips, and traps. 

2. Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

Despite the best intentions when we enter a romantic relationship, armed with expectations of great love, hope, and excitement, these can turn to bitterness, anger, shame, and resentment once the relationship begins to decay. 

Yet there is another path to the end of a relationship, one filled with mutual respect, and kindness.  

Conscious Uncoupling, a term that entered mainstream vocabulary when, in 2014, Gwyneth Paltrow announced her separation from Chris Martin, describing it as a harmonious and mutual 'conscious uncoupling', a phrase synonymous with a divorce where both partners accept that they each played a role in the breakup and, in particular, are looking to co-parent in a functional and healthy way in the future.

In this book, you can expect to find a five-step process to support separating couples through the thorny terrain of a breakup, leaving then healthy and well, and optimistic about future relationships.

3. Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Hailed as one of the greatest geniuses in the field of personal change, and the father of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Richard Bandler helps rid people of 'incurable' phobias, fears, anxieties, addictions, negative habits, and past traumas. 

In this book, Bandler shares his insights, his controversial signature wit, and more than thirty-five NLP techniques that will bring about quick and lasting change in every area of your life.

4. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, this book is viewed as a modern classic, having helped millions of couples transform their relationships by identifying just how different we really are, and how genders communicate their needs in such a way that conflict doesn't arise and intimacy is given every chance to grow.

5. Change Your Life In Seven Days

Success and happiness are not accidents that happen to some people and not to others. 

Paul McKenna is an acclaimed hypnotist who offers an engaging and practical approach to teaching readers how to control their minds, change their outlook, eliminate bad habits, and improve their lives in seven days. 

This book will teach you how to master your emotions and run your own brain, how to have supreme self-confidence and become the person you really want to be.

6. It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken

A must-have manual for finding your way back to an even more rocking you. The authors share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game.

Following on from the super successful ‘He's Just Not That Into You’, this book promises to do this and more, aimed at helping you get over anyone and move on with a tell-it-like-it-is advice with humour, it is filled with solid advice to help you let go of your ex.

Offering advice on how to tackle tough issues such as break-up sex, how not to lose your friends during a break-up, and 10 great places to cry. It's the ultimate read and reference for anyone who has ever been in a relationship.

7. Divorce: Overcome the Overwhelm and Avoid the Six Biggest Mistakes—Insights from Personal Divorce Coaches

Pegotty and Randall R. Cooper are certified divorce Coaches, and an experienced family mediator by the Supreme Court of Florida.

The book outlines six common, yet entirely avoidable, mistakes and how to avoid making them, and also contains some exercises. Work through the book at your own pace.

If you have read a good book that you would recommend, please feel free to get in touch and I’ll add it to the list.