Are you procrastinating in your relationship?
Many long-lasting marriages are more like strenuous endurance tests than loving partnerships.
Instead of lifelong contentment and satisfaction, many marriages persist in a state of quiet desperation, battling disappointment, and despair
So, why do we stay together if we're so miserable?
The start of a new year can be a catalyst for new beginnings. With the festive season behind us, it is time to think about the year ahead and what you want your life to look like.
While some relationships look largely hopeless, some people stay together hoping that things can change and that happiness is possible. Where does your marriage sit on the spectrum of delight vs despair?
If you answered with despair, then it's possible you're procrastinating on ending your relationship.
Procrastination visits most of us at various stages in life. We procrastinate on major issues because we fear the unknown, but in most cases, procrastination only delays the inevitable — resulting in us not doing what needs to be done in order to move forward.
Whatever the glue that holds a marriage of misery together, one thing is clear. People find strategies to cope, be it detachment or distraction. Utilising detachment, one stops caring for, or expecting anything from their partner, becoming akin to acquaintances or roommates living parallel lives. Others find contentment in distraction, be it at work, children, interests and hobbies, anything that can fill in the emotional gaps left by the absence of love and affection.
But is this procrastination, distraction, or detachment healthy?
A study by psychologists looking at marital conflicts and the related health impacts this discord had on wives and husbands concluded that such conflict "can be particularly damaging to one's health if spouses are hostile or defensive during disagreements". In short, misery is having a serious detrimental impact on one's health.
Procrastinating can lead to a downward spiral resulting in low self esteem, and lack of motivation to move on, and move forward.
It’s easy to go around in circles and discuss things with family and friends, but a session with a Coach will help you discover new possibilities. Afterall, divorce is not the only option when facing an unhappy marriage.
Introspection, taking a look at where you are and where you would like to be, could be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship.
Start the new year by making a change.
If the marriage is over and you reach the decision to file for a divorce, don’t waste time, it’s such a valuable commodity.
If you would like to discover a new you, make it happen. You will need to set goals for change to happen, without it, change will not occur.
Change doesn’t happen because we will it, or manifest it. Change occurs when we make a conscious choice to modify a pathway, choosing the steps that bring us to the life we want.
Are you ready to make a change? Stop procrastinating and book your consultation today.