Empower Yourself: Essential Tips for Maintaining Positivity in Separation or Divorce
However you feel right now, take some comfort in knowing that you are not alone.
In the challenging journey of separation or divorce, many find themselves grappling with a mix of emotions. It's essential to recognise that this experience, although personal, is a shared one. No matter how one feels in the present moment, the assurance that they are not alone can provide some solace.
As any relationship concludes, it's not just the companionship that terminates; future plans, aspirations, dreams, and the shared life also come to a close.
Is there such a thing as an Easy Divorce?
The very simple and only resounding answer to this question is no.
Whichever way things end with your partner, when you consider how your marriage began, the love, the passion, the excitement, and everything else that you started out your married life together with, is now gone; it can be an incredibly emotionally draining experience, and for many, it is one of the toughest transitions a person will have to make.
Whether you have support from friends and family or not, knowing how to stay strong, and beginning to rediscover yourself post-divorce, is key to your survival.
While the term ‘survival’ might seem somewhat extreme, it is absolutely how you need to look at things right now, and please be reassured in that there are lots of things you can do that will control not only how you’re feeling today, but also how you will feel over the coming weeks, months, and years.
How to Stay Strong Through Divorce?
There are many ways you can help yourself through the separation or divorce process. Here are just a few tips that have been proven to help other clients get through this challenging time.
Whether you implement all or just a few of these, you can start to look forward to a more positive future, and to regaining some of the control back in your life that you may have felt has been lacking lately.
1. Be Active
Re-engaging in physical activity, whether it's attending a class, going for a run, or simply walking, has proven benefits. Scientifically validated, physical activity enhances energy levels, cognitive functions, and mood.
This proactive approach not only improves self-esteem but also initiates positive changes in various aspects of life.
2. Allow Yourself Time to Grieve
Acknowledging the emotional challenges of divorce is crucial. Recognising the loss and giving oneself the necessary time to grieve is a key component of maintaining control. While grieving is essential, it is equally important to set limits and plan a path forward.
3. Get Support
Identifying the right support system during a divorce is not always straightforward.
It can be hard to involve family or friends, especially as some of these people will probably know your ex-partner and have formed their own relationships with them.
Seeking help from impartial professionals like a Divorce Coach can provide valuable perspectives and answers to pressing questions. Having a supportive and caring voice can bring focus and clarity during this tumultuous period.
4. Finding New or Old Hobbies
All too often, people can lose sight of their true identity when they are married. They forget to follow their own passions; they conform to listening to different music, watching different movies, eating different foods, and even forget the hobbies they used to love doing so much.
A great way to stay positive through a divorce is to allocate some ‘you time’ and take some time to rediscover what you like and what’s important to you today.
Reconnecting with personal passions and hobbies is a positive step towards rediscovering one's identity. Whether reviving old interests or exploring new ones, this self-focused time aids in maintaining a positive outlook.
5. Avoid Drastic Changes
While it might be tempting to relocate and start afresh, it is important to try and maintain a level of stability in your life while you go through a divorce, especially if children are involved.
Children experiencing changes in their familiar surroundings can cause negative emotions, and potentially a level of resentment.
New schools, new jobs, large purchases like a new home, and new relationships are all considered to be too drastic a change to deal with during a divorce. Avoiding drastic changes such as relocation or major life decisions, allows for you to focus your energy on the divorce process. Stability is paramount for emotional well-being, both for oneself and any children in the equation.
The easier you make things for yourself and your family during this transitional stage in your lives, the stronger you will be.
6. Practice Gratitude in Divorce Recovery
Cultivating gratitude, even in challenging times, can positively impact focus and energy levels.
Practising gratitude may be an entirely new concept for you to deal with, yet is something which has been scientifically proven to help with focus and energy levels.
Acknowledging the positives in life, no matter how small, helps shift the perspective from what has been lost to what remains.
7. Make Plans for Your New Future
It doesn’t matter how extravagant or not these plans might be, but having something in your diary to look forward to is a great motivator.
Having future plans, no matter how modest, provides motivation and something to look forward to.
Look forward in your calendar, days, weeks, and even months; and put something in your calendar that you can look forward to. Whether it's a day out, a night on the town, or a post-separation holiday, these plans offer a positive distraction from the challenges of the present.
As long as it’s something you feel positively about, and not something that will bring memories of your marriage flooding back to you, then it’s absolutely something you need to make time for.
Take some comfort in knowing that this is simply a process, and right now, you just need to focus on getting from A to B. Keep your chin up and remember that a new and exciting part of your life is just about to start.
Book a free consultation today and start looking forward to your new life.