According to the ONS, blended families were the fastest-growing family type in the UK over the last decade.

Despite the significant increase in the number of this family dynamic, the level of support and advice for the bespoke set of challenges this group faces is quite limited. 

Now the summer holidays are upon us, I thought it was about time we spoke about blended families.

According to a study by Stand Alone, 55% felt more alone and less connected to family during the pandemic so it’s no surprise that reconciliation and reconnecting with family members is at the top of many minds as life begins to return to some sense of normality. 

All family holidays have scope to be filled with tension and squabbles, but blended families have an extra layer of complexity to navigate.

If you're in a new relationship, going away together and combining your children into one unit is a big step. Doing so too soon can be enormously challenging. 

For one, you, your partner, and/or the children can face feelings of jealousy and resentment. While no one sets out to be jealous, or resent someone's presence, it often just happens as the green eyed monster often appears in turbulent times.

Why does this happen? Aren’t holidays meant to be fun? 

Yes, but the cause has more to do with the family dynamic. By incorporating at least 2 families, each individual has had their world shift dramatically. 

It’s hard to know what to expect from yourself, and others. If you’re heading into a blended family vacation this summer, here are some more tips to help you prepare for the trip:

1. Have an open and honest discussion with your partner about expectations. (From them, the trip, and the children). Discuss expectations, boundaries, and discipline so it’s clear from the outset what you can expect.

2. Attempt to define the role of parenting while you’re away. It’s bound to be messy and complicated but any structure is better than no structure. 

3. Establishing each other's parenting style early on can help alleviate any challenges and problems associated with contrasting styles of parenting. 

4. Accept imperfection - despite all the planning in the world, something is bound to go awry

5. Pace yourselves - Aim for a staycation or a short-haul destination in a new but semi-familiar destination to help prevent culture shock - avoid places either family went previously to avoid comparisonitis and conjuring old memories

6. Plan ahead. Consider the interests of your partner and the children, and aim to include at least one thing specifically for each member of the family (think favourite foods, activities, and/or toys) all of which can provide great comfort in an otherwise unfamiliar and insecure environment. If the children are older, consider a democratic style and ask them what they’d like to do for their day, half-day, or meal of choice. 

7. What can you all do together as a blended family? An engaging group activity can help with bonding. Mini golf, stand-up paddleboarding or punting, even collecting seashells or a board game evening. The point is to have the opportunity to get to know each other better. 

8. Need a time out? - If you or the children need time apart, have a way of making this happen so it’s not a scramble to execute it if the time arises. 

9. Create space and zones for the downtime.  Do you really want to hear Peppa Pig, or watch the latest dance routine on Tik Tok? If not then aim to book as much space as you can afford. A serviced apartment or a cottage in a handy location might be a better option than a stock standard hotel.

Are you wondering if you're ready for a blended family holiday? The simple fact is, you may not be! Ensure you have the support team you need to tackle this issue ahead of time. 

As a divorce and life coach I can help you to work on yourself, find a way to tackle those conversations, and have a successful blended family holiday.